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I Can't Sleep.
Sep. 19th, 2005 05:56 am[Angela's friends and female acquaintances can read this. Marty can't.]
I guess I just have too much on my mind. Or possibly I am becoming somewhat nocturnal. Either way ... I keep trying to sleep, and keep waking up, and I finally just gave up. So here I am at 6 a.m. Monday. Breakfast, anyone?
So, I had breakfast with Marty at Luke's Saturday. It was nice. Weird. We got to have an actual conversation, and he only freaked out a tiny bit. Almost like a real date.
Anyhow, later that afternoon I went to ask River what she said to make him so upset last Monday. She said three things; a girl called Debbie misses him, he's very good with his weapons, and ... one last thing that I don't know how to take.
I knew about his guns. And I can deal with that, I think. There was practically a riot yesterday when Principal Connor banned all weapons on campus. It's almost weirder, here, to have never held a gun. (Note to self: Make sure Marty really does get rid of all of his. I didn't see him after he went into detention, so he might have missed the meeting.)
And I knew about the girl, kind of. I mean, I've heard her name, and I'm not planning on sharing every detail of my personal history after a week either. I hate the idea that she's in pain, but maybe there's a good reason? (Sure. Right.)
But ... the last thing River said was that there was "a curious blankness inside of him," and I almost thought that was some joke about his name, but it isn't. According to River, her spidey sense told her Marty doesn't feel things the way other people do.
I probably obsess about feelings enough for, like, any two normal people, but I don't think it works that way. I don't know, I don't get that sort of not-really-there sense from him, but I am also not psychic.
I spent yesterday thinking about all of that and doing homework. Quiet day, except for the inability of my brain to shut up. I wish I could just stop worrying and thinking so much and take things as they came. Or, maybe not stop thinking, but think about useful things only.
Right. Seriously, is anybody up for breakfast? We could talk about homecoming or bad TV game shows or something else non-boy-related.
I guess I just have too much on my mind. Or possibly I am becoming somewhat nocturnal. Either way ... I keep trying to sleep, and keep waking up, and I finally just gave up. So here I am at 6 a.m. Monday. Breakfast, anyone?
So, I had breakfast with Marty at Luke's Saturday. It was nice. Weird. We got to have an actual conversation, and he only freaked out a tiny bit. Almost like a real date.
Anyhow, later that afternoon I went to ask River what she said to make him so upset last Monday. She said three things; a girl called Debbie misses him, he's very good with his weapons, and ... one last thing that I don't know how to take.
I knew about his guns. And I can deal with that, I think. There was practically a riot yesterday when Principal Connor banned all weapons on campus. It's almost weirder, here, to have never held a gun. (Note to self: Make sure Marty really does get rid of all of his. I didn't see him after he went into detention, so he might have missed the meeting.)
And I knew about the girl, kind of. I mean, I've heard her name, and I'm not planning on sharing every detail of my personal history after a week either. I hate the idea that she's in pain, but maybe there's a good reason? (Sure. Right.)
But ... the last thing River said was that there was "a curious blankness inside of him," and I almost thought that was some joke about his name, but it isn't. According to River, her spidey sense told her Marty doesn't feel things the way other people do.
I probably obsess about feelings enough for, like, any two normal people, but I don't think it works that way. I don't know, I don't get that sort of not-really-there sense from him, but I am also not psychic.
I spent yesterday thinking about all of that and doing homework. Quiet day, except for the inability of my brain to shut up. I wish I could just stop worrying and thinking so much and take things as they came. Or, maybe not stop thinking, but think about useful things only.
Right. Seriously, is anybody up for breakfast? We could talk about homecoming or bad TV game shows or something else non-boy-related.
