a battlefield for my heart

After talking to Angel and John Crichton in the common room, Angela comes up to her room, knowing she needs to talk to Marty and really, really dreading it.

She calls Blair first, to see if gremlin rights have been respected. Then she dials Marty's number.

Then there's nothing to do but wait for him to join her. Leaving the door slightly open, she settles on her bed, cross-legged, and absently strokes her cat as she debates what, exactly, to tell him.

Angela hears Sheriff Lamb's announcement on the radio in the morning.

Dazed and shocked, she stumbles to journalism ... and is happy to find the class cancelled. She could never concentrate.

She pulls out her diary and ( begins to write )

She picks up the phone and dials.

Hi.

A lot has happened in the last few days, though most of it has been good, or at least interesting.

First, Dr. House let us off the hook. Hooray for not being a guinea pig for gremlin bodily fluids.

I braved Angelus' candidate forums on Thursday. I thought a lot of it was pretty boring (nice surprise), but Rory and Marty seemed to do well. Oh, and I kind of yelled at Maia over the "Parker's Pets" thing. I can understand why people don't like Parker -- I didn't like her myself for the first couple weeks we were here, and it seems like every time I listen to her ideas, something goes wrong -- but it still seemed like a slam at some people who really hadn't done anything.

Maia swears she didn't mean it that way. I feel kind of sorry for her, it sounds like she's just overwhelmed by a lot of things. Apparently she's dating Ms. Sidle and was upset because Sidle hurt herself.

The one good thing to come out of it was that I got to talk to that guy Anakin, with the Kajagoogoo refugee haircut. He is surprisingly cool for a member of JA, and can move things with his mind, like Paige. He's starting a "Deep Thoughts" club. I'm not sure if it's a joke or what, but I signed up anyhow. I've been all social here, and it would be nice to have people to be antisocial with.

For Homecoming, Rory and Logan and Marty and I went to dinner at The Old Firm. It was worse than cafeteria food. You know a restaurant is creepy when you find yourself claiming to be vegetarians and ordering green salads with dressing on the side, just because you don't want to think about they might serve you as meat.

At homecoming, we hung out with L. & R. for a while. It got a little tense because ... well, there was tequila, and Angelus' name came up, and I got kind of emotional. Rory says she doesn't think Logan will hold it against me.

I just hope Angelus isn't going to start gunning for either of them.

Anyhow, so -- tension. Then M. and I danced for a while. We saw George Lass crying -- I hope it wasn't over the Homecoming Queen thing, because that would make it kind of Marty's fault. (I voted for her.) We decided to go home after that and ... it was very very nice.

Yesterday I visited M. in Phale's shop. Sounds like we're both finding out some things on the Angelus front. The only question is how (or if) to use them. I think we need a witch at this point.

Hung out with Cally, Janet and Rory in the common room last night. Poor Rory -- it sounds like Logan has his own past to deal with.

If nothing else, I am truly sympathetic.

Hey.

I think things are becoming ... not old normal, but normal for this school for me again. Kind of nice.

Shane from the church last week came to visit me at work today. Turns out she was born in Pittsburgh, but she's been on her own for a really long time. We talked about her job and growing up and stuff. It sounds like she's had a tough life, but she seems to really have it together. I hope I see her again.

And then Marty stopped by. It was ... okay, things have been kind of weird between us since the whole Angelus thing started. I can tell he feels really guilty, which -- he should, but I'm the one who went into an empty storage room with a vampire. And he didn't hurt me. Anyhow, so he's been feeling guilty, and I've been kind of not wanting to deal with that, and so I've been ... not avoiding him, but not really looking for him, either.

But I think things between us are okay now. I hope. He's stuck in detention today, with Grissom. I don't know, everybody else seems to love Grissom, but in Criminology class Thursday I was just a little lost in thought, and he totally yelled at me.

I hate small classes.

I talked to Mr. Phale in the park yesterday. He seems like he might be able to help us with the Angelus thing. I feel like I'm just in so far over my head on that one ... but if it helps, it helps, right?

He blessed my necklace. It feels different.

Face red from exertion and emotion, Angela storms up the stairs to the third floor, fumbles with her lock, and throws herself on the bed.

She can't think about anything except what Marty just told her. A killer, she thinks. He killed people. And he wants to be with me. I can't. I can't.

The hysterical tears give way to hysterical laughter as she remembers Rory's last note from study hall. Homecoming, sure. Maybe we can, like, knock over a convenience store on our way, and find some small children to run over to cap off the night.

Fumbling with the things in her bookbag, she comes across the hot-pink flyer for Paige's girl's night. She considers what she might find upstairs: People. Junk food. Advice.

Pretty movies, with Molly Ringwald and pretty boys and things working out in the end.

Alcohol. Oblivion. It's tempting.

And then she's not thinking so much, she's just crying, and anyone walking by the room could hear her sobs.